Four years have now passed since we lost you forever. As time passes we have all learned to continue on with our lives without you. The constant feeling of loss becoming normal. Often getting blocked out by the daily routine of life.

Alec is well and growing fast. Not our little baby any more. He is a proper little boy now and loves building stuff with Lego. He makes some wonderful creations. Sometimes he is such a big boy and seems he doesn’t need his dad anymore. Then other times he is still my little man who just wants cuddle’s from his dad.

Alec starts school this year and is very excited about going. I am sure he will do well. He takes after you in the brains department.

His first day of school will be an emotional day. We have done so much together and Alec is what kept me going during those tough times. I going to miss the days when it was just Alec and me against the world.

A sense of ending has come across me and a unease has set in. Not sure why. Maybe each new milestone means it’s closer to telling him what happen to his mother. Something I am not prepared for.

There has been some big changes in our lives this year. I have found love again. The same lady that was mention last year. We got back together. Alec and I moved in with her and her daughter. We have made a family together. Her daughter and Alec get along really well. Being part of a larger family environment has been good for Alec.

Miranda is a wonderful lady. We get along really well and even laughs at my bad jokes. She is also a widow and just like me has had a rough couple of years. We are able to support each other in our times of need.

The other big news is Miranda and I having a baby together. Everyone is very excited. The kids keep asking when will they get to meet it.

I really hope you approve of Miranda and of our exciting news. I have really struggled writing this letter. It’s a strange thing. I am the happiest I have been in years and feel like life is starting again.

However I also feel that I am turning my back on you. Even a feeling of being disloyal, as my life moves forward with Miranda.

It’s a complicated mix of feelings and it’s something I have to deal with as a result of everything that has happen over the last four years. Death of a loved one was never going to be a simple affair.

We have a busy year ahead. But an exciting one. Even as our lives move forward. There is not a day I don’t think of you. I will always love you and always miss you.

Love Loves Peter