To Peta

It is now 2 years since your passing. I can’t really say it getting any easier. I think I miss you more now than ever.

We have been home from our big trip for 3 months now. We spent a total of 8 months on the road. We traveled slowly. In fact we spent most of the trip in Queensland. With 2 months in Cape York.

The trip was great. Alec had a ball and he picked up so much, even at such a young age.

I am already starting the plan the next trip. I don’t know when it will be. Before Alec goes to school.

Alec is growing fast. He is a chatter thats for sure and seems to have a knack with numbers. He can count to three most of the time and surprised me the other day he counted to six. Very clever little boy. I think he gets that from you. He can also be a little bit of a smart arse as well. Unfortunately I think that comes from me.

He is back at daycare 3 days a week and I am back at work. I have Alec in one of the larger daycare centres this time. It gives me more flexibility than using family daycare. I figure he is old enough to handle it. He settled in ok. Some days when I drop him off he doesn’t even say bye. Other days he breaks out the tears and refusers to let go of me. But generally he is good. His teachers all love him and comment on how good he is. I think he might have them wrapped around his little finger. He is good at that.

Your sister and I cleaned out your belongings before christmas. I am doing the last bit now. It was a little hard but a relief it was finally done. I can’t believe how much cupboard space I have now. I toke 14 bags of clothes to the charity shop.

It’s a tough thing but I am making a effort to move on. Not to forget you in any way. But to try and move to the next stage of our lives. What ever that is. It’s not easy but has to be done. Cleaning out the house was the start of it. I have decided the Mav and your Mazda will also be going. Just to many memory’s attached to them. Eventual we will move out of this house as well. But that going to take a little more time.

As the days, months and years roll on the memories stay with me. The heart still shattered into pieces with little hope of being repaired. The only thing that keeps me going is Alec. He needs me, he needs his father to tell him how wonderful his mother is and that you loved him so very very much, he needs me to guide him in the years to come when he starts asking questions, he needs me to be the best father ever. He deserves nothing less.

Always missed and forever loved

Love Loves

Peter